What does the Pink Panther order when he goes to the kebab shop?
Why does Mr Mushroom always get invited to parties?
Cos he’s a fun guy
Blu Tack in Denmark is known by the slang ‘Elephant Snot’. And is not blue but green or white.
This recipe uses more egg yolk than is normally recommended. This is because mayonnaise is not healthy but at least if there is more yolk then there is a little more nutrients in it.
All ingredients need to be room temperature. This helps the emulsification of yolk with oil.
4 pasteurized egg yolks (cos folk are funny about eggs and this way, there are no arguments)
250 ml Oil (I like grape seed because it’s neutral in flavour, but suit yourself and measure in a jug because it makes life easier when pouring later).
Salt and Pepper
1 tsp Dijon Mustard
2 tsp White wine vinegar.
- Sterilize a jam jar, large enough for you to fit your whisker in (Use the electric whisker cos life’s too short to stand there whisking for 20 minutes).
- Add a dash of salt and pepper in the jar and then the egg yolks.
- Start whisking the yolks and when you start to see a colour change (they get lighter), then start slowly adding oil, a little at a time. As you add the oil, it will get whisked into the yolk and form an emulsion, which will become stiffer as you add the oil. The oil must be added slowly, otherwise it will not have change to mix properly and you end up with oily egg.
- Once all the oil is added and you have a creamy mix that looks like mayonnaise add 1 tsp Dijon and then 2 tsp vinegar, in that order so you only dirty one teaspoon.
- Mix again so it’s all blended in an taste. Season with salt and pepper as needed. Then put in the fridge if your not gonna eat it immediately.
- Fresh eggs can be tricky to get to emulsify. One farmer I spoke to thought it had something to do with the proteins being too strong? I have no idea but it went like hell when I tried, so now I stick with pasteurized egg yolks.
- If you end up with eggy oil, don’t panic. Get a new clean jar, 2 more egg yolks and start over, but this time use the eggy oil. Whisk faster and harder and slow down on the adding the eggy oil. It should bind on the second attempt.
- You can swap the vinegar for any acid, such as balsamic or lemon juice.
- The oil can be any, but remember that strong oils affect the flavour (strong olive oils can make for a really unpleasant mayonnaise that feels like your choking).
- You can also season with herbs, spices, garlic, the usual suspects…
- Or for a real treat, mix bacon fat in with the oil and season after with bacon pieces to make baconnaise with crunch. I’ve seen people eating teaspoons of this, post burger session as dessert.
Moley’s dead, a victim of hit and run.
Ratty’s scared and on the run.
Badger’s vanished, out of sight.
The weasels silenced, out of fright.
Mole stood up for what was right.
And was silenced in the night.
Those who stand against, are soon mute.
Toad Hall’s power is absolute.
You’d think that for one of the happiest countries in Europe, Denmark would also be home to a people who are accustomed to polite and gentile practices.
Sadly this could not be further from the truth though in some cases, with the case of the role of the gentleman being one such situation. It is an observation made by nearly every gentleman who comes to visit this pleasant land, that good manners and chivalry have been abandoned by the native male population and are frowned upon by the women.
This situation though is hardly surprising, given that the equality of men and women in Denmark is very well balanced. I would go so far as to say, that it might even be a little in the favor of women, who have fought hard for equality and who still vigorously defend it against any challenger. It is not uncommon to see the lady of the house taking the steering role in all matters of life and dictating the decision without discussion.
So it is, that behavior of a gentlemanly fashion is not accepted when offered and in many cases will be returned with a look of annoyance and unacceptability. I believe it is a belief that accepting such a favor or gesture will undermining their status. One might offer the alternative opinion that this is in fact, “Cutting off your nose to spite your face”
An encounter this morning reminded me of this, having recently read a humorous article about a gentleman offering his seat to a lady on the Copenhagen metro, (Which nearly caused an international incident).
Should I have know better? Yes, but I should still have acted as I did. I will explain…
A young lady, who while stepping onto an escalator twisted her knee and was left in obvious discomfort with difficulty standing. Seeing she was in obvious discomfort and with concern that she would have difficulty alighting at the bottom of escalator I asked if she was alright and seeing obvious grimaces of pain as I spoke to her and as we were reaching the bottom, I offered my arm as extra support to assist her, so she might catch the train before it left and rest (we had a minute or so before we departed). I was quickly brushed away and told it was nothing and she would manage. She then hobbled away in pain, not dissimilar to Quasimodo and gasping each time she tried to put weight on the injured leg.
Rather than accept a simple gesture of support, she would rather hobble injured and in pain and possible miss her train.
It is after experiencing this kind of behavior and reading other such stories from foreigners who have visit or live in Denmark that I came to realize why the Danish men has abandoned the entire idea of being a gentleman. What point would it serve when your best intentions of help and polite manners are spurned and you are ridiculed for such actions.
I am unperturbed myself. I will continue to open doors and offer assistance to those who appear to need it, because I hope that slowly the Danes will realize a gesture of kindness and politeness is not an attempt to belittle or reduce their stature, but more an act of assistance out of kindness, respect for that stature and a nod to a tradition that really shouldn’t go out of fashion.
Equality doesn’t come from being equal, it comes from respecting each others value.
As a final note though I would say there are still some bastions of such old fashioned ideas. I have encountered many gentlemen in the senior ranks of Danish men and ladies willing to accept those gestures of the same years. Further to that, it appears that in some part these ideas have been passed on to their children thankfully, so maybe there really is hope yet for a little change for the better.
Late Arriving Chicks <- Video Clip
So after a full summer of fun, Rock Mumma our old black Silkie got broody. A week later, Nougat decided to get broody also, for a second time. The girls pretty much gathered up the eggs themselves and once they were on top, we decided to just wait an see..
The result so far, one week ago we got Dime and now yesterday two new little ones, but there are more eggs left and with the hens shuffling them, there’s no final result yet.
Found exhausted in one of our office meeting rooms, I fed this little fellow up on a blob of honey and some drops of water (yes bees drink). Later released back to the wilds